"Christina, bring me the axe!"

Just when you can embrace your gay self, and send one homophobe on their constipated way, some other A**hole has to come along and take their place.....
The day started off simple enough with me enjoying my porn, showering, getting ready for work, and then spending the day doing the bare minimum to get my paperwork done ,all the while dealing with drama not of my own making. Cut from all the boring crap to my crazy dash to get to my seminar for my Masters Program in Social Work.

The night goes off without much fanfare, until my group is called to post a discussion bulletin for the week. My hag (aka alternative lifestyle accessory according to Rick and Steve) has the bright idea that our discussion should be on gay marriage. Almost immediately, several sets of eyes zeroed in on me as if I was wearing pink taffeta, or just cut one in the room (sorry, Xander). Without fail, this hoodrat in the class started raising objections, saying that this has nothing to do with public policy and that she strongly disagreed because it gave "special rights" to gays.

People who know me know just how I get when I feel disrespected or upset....Luckily the professor corrected her, and my hag talked me down from putting on a show.

It just amazes me how ignorant people think that their personal beliefs give them a forum say some of the most scathing comments about other people and sit in righteous indignation. The thing about this situation all the more infuriating to me was that was coming from another person of African American descent. Given our shared history of hatred and mistrust, you would think that most black people would be sensistive and empathetic to gay people. So much for that idea. Another the thing that really struck me about the moral comments this woman was making was that she had a child out wedlock. So that makes me a sodomite, and she a fornicator..Which one is worse?

Being a double minority, I am almost constantly aware that there are very few places where I feel that I "belong". It just amazes me that I get the message two days in a row, that there are people out there that want to make sure that myself and people like me stay on the margins, whether it be black people who have issues with gay sexuality, and some gay people who have issues with gay people that are black...

I am so looking forward to posting this bulletin with my group..Just like Joan said to the Pepsi execs; " Don't F**k with me boys!"

Just Another Manic Monday

Like the song says; "These are the days when you wish your bed was already made." Today was one of those infuriating Bakersfield days when you wish you could have just stayed in bed and slept it off..

For starters, I had such a good time with the Sunday Family get together and putting more stuff of my IPod (it's like crack!) that I dragged my sorry gluteous to bed at 2:45 am! Then I got back up around 5 to gt ready for work.... Let me inform you gentle readers that on Mondays and Wednesdays, I work from 7 to 6:30pm...Needless to say, I was looking at hot mess when I got in to work, and headed straight for my cube.. And just like that, I run into the most irritating coworkers that I have in the building.

Our history of hate began when I first got hired on. Almost from the start, she made it no secret that she had a problem with how "out" I am at work, and how everything that came out of my mouth was "gay, gay, gay!" Anyways another one of our coworkers came in and asked how my weekend went. I spun her all the details of the adventures I had at my usual Family Sunday get together, and then went into the Scooby Gang's travel to the Casa. For some reason this perked Baroness Bitchy's interest and she proceeded to get into my Kool Aid with, "Is that all you can talk about?" That was it. I became Lil Kim and let loose with some mean comments. Suffice it to say, I let her know it was "noneya" (none of your business). She left in a huff, I was content with enjoying the rest of my morning breakfast, and dealing with today's drama.

At first I felt bad, but then the more I thought about it, the more pissed I got. In almost every setting, straights never have to apologize for how they live their lives, but us gays are always on the defensive for sharing the smallest aspects of our lives with friends and family.

Let me be the first to tell you; I am done with editing my life for people who mean less to me that a pound of dead flies so they can feel comfortable in their surroundings and not have their ideas of what gay people are "supposed to be" challenged.

A great thinker once said; "I yam what I yam, and that I yam" and he was right....Popeye, this one's for you...

A Night Out with the Bako Scooby Gang

I had great weekend out my gay posse, whom I affectionately call the "Scooby Gang" after the group of characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I guess I call our group this, because our relationships are similar to theirs, and week after week we go out into a world that doesn't always "get" us. But thankfully we have a language and a comfort zone all our own, and I don't know where I would be without them.. Just for the curious, here is the breakdown of the group as I see it ; Chris = Buffy, Paul = Xander , Alex = Willow, John = Dawn, and Tim = Giles... Now that the preliminaries are out of the way let me go on about the weekend..

I made the effort to find a new gay horror movie, and all I ended up with was In The Blood.. I am so sorry gang that the movie was craptastic, but I am so TIRED of all the recycled horror movies that are subpar to the originals...Come on now... Halloween should have been left alone, the Hills Have Eyes should have been left alone, and finally Prom Night (you picked this one Chris) should have been LEFT ALONE!! Has Hollywood run out of ideas to scare people. I hate to be blunt, but I don't think I can sit through yet another Rob Zombie cinematic diaper stain, while I am craving the next horror movie to send me over...There has been a great horror movie in some time, and I think the viewing public deserves one. Well after our flaccid movie viewing, we proceeded to go to our local watering hole to see what mischief we could get into. Let me be the first to say that I have long had my issues with the Casa (the exorbitant cover charge, crappy music, over priced drinks, vapid people) but the Friday night at the Casa with the Gang was one of the better nights we've had out in Bako in some time. There was a different (and better DJ) spinning some good tunes, and the drag show in the smoking area provided nonstop comedy relief. It was truly a fun outing. As we were driving home, I felt that this was where I belonged, and that there was no where else I wanted to be that night. Thanks you guys, and a special shout out to Anya (the other "Chris") .

Almost doesn't count....

Well I know it has been a while since I last posted, but with the demands of work, grad school, and the ongoing ex drama, my plate is pretty full at the moment.. Just to catch you people up on my little slice of Genoa City, my ex (whom I will call the Jolly Rancher) is about to celebrate yet another birthday party, and cordially invited me to come and celebrate this event with him, and small group of friends in the small town he is from. Despite some uneasy feelings mixed with a touch of fear, I agreed to come up and help him usher it in. But in my heart of hearts, I wonder if I am doing the right thing ? I want to stay on good terms (which is rare for me and my exes) with him, but at the same time, I have to ask myself : WTF am I doing? So much has changed, am I setting myself up for yet more drama? Recently after a heart-felt conversation with the BFF, we questioned if there was a gay man that was drama-free? At the end of the discussion, I came away with the conclusion that most if not all gay men have some sort of drama, if they don't, they sure as heck are going to make some!!! Even when I just had a nice visit with him and made the decision not to get together for "old time's sake", here I am putting myself back into the same situation. I really wish I could understand the "hold" the Jolly Rancher has on me...So I could completely come to terms with it. In others news....The heifer I have decided to my rogue's gallery has been gone from the office for the last couple of days, and there has been peace in the valley...But I have sneaking suspicion that we she returns, that is a Dynasty-scale showdown brewing... I think I going to put on my Jennifer horror movie for some ideas.. I have on my get it gurl drawers, and I am ready to break out the Vaseline and leave a fake nail in her face...I really need to practice that Tina Turner relaxation chant.. But that can happen later after paybacks...

I've Got 99 Problems, and this B***h Is One...

Don't you just love Mondays?! Well mine started off nice enough, with me taking and leisurely drive into work bopping along to some wonderful tunes I "liberated" (read; pilfered) from sister's lovely cache of 80's tunes. Just as I was pulling into my usual spot, THERE IT WAS!!

Some donkey raping bastard had the nerve to park in my spot! I carefully maneuvered my vehicle around truckzilla, and made a careful inspection of some one's overcompensation for what he or she lacked. It was just purchased in Woodland Hills and I could still smell the smugness of the owner at having usurped my territory. When I went into to the office to inquire who parked in my parking space , I was informed by one of my faithful minions that the owner of the truck in question belonged to a woman co-worker I once considered a friend at work.

Our friendship started innocently enough when she was hired on at our company roughly two years ago, and I made the mistake of trying to make her feel welcomed. She was just out of grad school, several years younger, and totally obsessed with my (nerdy) eye wear . As she tried to make herself comfortable at the office, she seemed to go out of her way to get my attention. Lunches, tearful confessions about her past, and invitations to her dinner parties, were numerous. As time went on, I foolishly let down my guard and let her in on some of the pitfalls of work, and people to avoid in our office, and one person in particular. It is common knowledge in my office that I am "fabulous", and been in a longstanding feud with an over dramatic, closet queen who is known to frequent certain rest areas, for which I have secretly obtained photographic documentation in my arsenal for potential use at a later time. For a while it seemed as though it it were she and I against the office, but over the last 8 months things began to change.

For some unknown reason, I was unceremoniously dumped, and she has begun a campaign to mess with my head and break me. As if I didn't already had enough with my ex and all the things going on with my "real friends", this hooker is trying to rub salt in my wounds, by parking in my reserved spot that I personally marked, and has even went on to form a friendship with my work archenemy and sharing all my secrets. I know for most of you this seems like one of life's little annoyances, but for me, it is another indication of the passive aggressive crap she has perpetrated against me that I have perfected in my on life . One thing I can tell you for sure; this battle is far from over... Popular wisdom has it that "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned". That poor sucker has no idea how that fury pales besides the fury of a queen that has been scorned! I have the volume up on Jagged Little Pill on my way home.

To Be Continued.....

WTF Weekend !

With times like these, it is good to have your friends. It really broke my heart to see my best friend hurting so bad, and all over a certain puffy shirt wearing, self absorbed, quilt making individual that resembles said advertisement on the left. It seems that so many people are into sad little heart games with people, that fail to take into account the harm they do to the other people besides the person on the receiving end of the drama. With his unthinking and uncaring actions, he has hurt two people I care for a great deal and feels not the slightest remorse.When I went out to breakfast with my friends, to the movies, and out shopping and dancing, and all our best efforts could not bring him out of his funk...

There should be a special place in hell for people who delight in creating unnecessary drama, lying without a conscience, and playing the "victim". I wish there was some way I could take away so much of the hurt and pain you are going through, but I believe you are strong enough to handle anything that life can throw at you. I remember a conversation that we had yesterday when you felt that you were just like the person you were after your last soul-crushing breakup. I have to disagree with you on this one. At least this time, you had the courage to face your situation, (and not pull a b***h move like text your feelings on a cell phone), and you were able to hold on. All I can say is remember who you are, and that your friends are here.... Never forget that..