Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Can (Almost) See Clearly Now the Rain Is Gone

Things have really been looking (pun) up since I had my eye surgery. I can see (at least) out of one eye, and am scheduled to have the other one done the first of February. I never had any idea how much my sight meant to me...I was off for three weeks, from grad school, work, and my internship, because I was unable to drive, read and write documents, do all the things I was required to do.

Having all this time to think about things really forced me to look at things in my life, and try to make changes. For starters, I am learning that I am a good person at my core, and sometimes I need to believe that I have all the tools I need to be the person I need to be. For the longest time, I have been carrying around all this drama about my failed relationship, not graduating at the time I wanted to, and not feeling that I was "good enough" to love me the way I needed to be loved. I am so used to owning all the bad stuff in my life, that I often fail to "see" all the good things come in. So as a result, I feel buried in the rubble that is my life. So now I trying to walk a different path.

I have begun the task of simplifying my life, and taking on things that I really feel passionate about. I have also made a promise to myself to love the people that care about me REALLY hard, and let go of all the hurt of pain I have been holding onto, because over time it becomes what your life is all about.

I am gearing up complete the final leg of my graduate school adventure, and am looking forward to what my future holds.