Sunday, February 21, 2010

Too Black To Be A Sex Partner?

Just when you think you have heard every indignity and offensive comment that can be heaped upon you, life finds a way to give you one more shot to stomach...My best friend and I went out a couple of weeks ago to a straight bar, where an 80's cover band was playing. If you have been following best friend Chris' blog as well as mine, you know full well that we are rabid fans of almost anything 80's, and this night was no different. The air was alive with the sounds of " Jenny 867-5309', "Just Like Heaven", and the like...In short, it was one of those magical nights in Bakersfield where you are having a fantastic time, in spite of the location and the people around you. The only thing that really threw the night off were that the notorious Q.U.I.L.T.E.R., and his douchebag/new boyfriend Mr. Potato Head were in attendance, and attempting to make my BFF feel bad.
I have to give credit to my best friend. He was able to completely ignore the "floor show" being done for his benefit, and enjoy himself. Well the night was a total bust for Potato Head and he was not happy. But at the same time, he could not openly go after my BFF. So this was his new ploy.
As we were outside the club cooling ourselves off (as most clubs in Bakersfield are too cheap to pay for air conditioning), Potato Head shared with us that he was not into "dark meat", and only wants "white meat". I fired off a humorous comeback, and left it at that..
After this had happened, I had to wonder: "what was this all about?" I expect many of these comments from some white gay men in this area, but now here I am hearing this from a Latin Men as well....

When did it become ok to make these kinds of comments to black gay men? I find it so hypocritical for so many gay men to talk about equal rights for gay people, and be bigoted towards gay people of color.. Amazing! And here I am hearing this from another gay man of color..Unbelievable!

Goonies Never Say Die!

One of the earliest things I learned as a child of the 70's growing up in the 80's was that I was never going to be one of the "popular kids". You know; the ones that have all the attention lavished on them, and have all the other kids wanting to be like them and/or be their friends. I learned very quickly on from them that I would never be accepted by them, and would always have to be on guard when they were in my area.
Through all of this, I worked hard to create a place where I could be accepted, and surrounded myself with people who could truly love me for me, and support me in my journey through life. I also made a promise to myself during those rough times that I would be smarter, happier, and more comfortable than any of the "A-Listers" that made my growing up so challenging. And for the most part, I succeeded. Thank goodness for comic books, horror movies, music, and my small band of misfit friends at the time that made so much of that painful time so bearable.
Fast forward to now: I am still struggling to get myself back on track, finish grad school, and be the man I need to be for my family and friends. What I have come to realize, is that gay world and the world in general, are very much like my childhood. There are all sorts of messages out there that tell us that we do not belong, or that we will never be "good enough".
I think that the tasks falls to all of us who never "fit in" to find the people and things that reaffirm who you are, and replenish your strength and resolve to be the best person you can be.. I think that is the message I read into the Goonies, and think that is the message my friends and I put out when we come together.
Thank you my friends, for putting up with my drama, shortcomings, and for my triumphs as well...